Brittny Hansen

New website!

2010-07-14T14:57:00.000-06:00

I don't think I have too many followers on this blog, but for those of you who might check in at this site or follow the news feed, I've moved my blog to be part of my personal website. You can still find all of my old posts up there, along with any new content that I might come up with (I already have several posts up there that you might have missed!). So, if you'd like to keep following me go to my new blog - http://www.techiechic.net/blog. I'll be setting this site to just automatically redirect in the next few days so feel free to delete it from your feed readers :)

Marriage/Parenting Advice

2010-05-17T12:05:00.008-06:00

There is a young woman in my home stake who asked me for some help with her personal progress. Specifically she wanted help with the project in Divine Nature #2 -

As a young woman you are blessed with divine feminine qualities. Increase your understanding of and appreciation for womanhood. Read Proverbs 31:10–31 and two talks on womanhood from a conference issue of the Church magazines. Review what “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” (see page 101) says about being a wife and a mother. Then ask your mother or another mother you admire what she thinks are important attributes for being a mother. List the attributes in your journal. Then choose one of those attributes and strive to develop it. After two weeks report your success to a parent or leader.

So I've been pondering for a few weeks about attributes of a good mother. As I thought about it, you can't be a good mother without being a good wife first, so I've somewhat expanded my advice to be things that are both attributes of a good wife and good mother, and some of these things might not fit as "attributes" but more as "things you ought to do", but I'll try to get them to fit into attribute categories if I can.

Anyways, I thought before I sent this on to this young woman that I should post the things here and see if I could get some good feedback on other items I should add or modify before sending it on. After all, one of my best parenting secrets so far has been to ask for help when I need it! I've gotten so much good advice from Facebook friends and blog commenters that I'm sure has influenced what I'm posting here, and I'm hoping I might even get a few more good ideas for myself :)

So, without further ado -

Put the Lord first - Some people will say that your marriage goes before all else, and this is true for everything except the Lord. As you draw closer to the Lord you will grow closer to your husband and children. Heavenly Father knows better than we do how we should be parenting our children. Find a man who is willing to do the same. Look for a man who is willing to be faithful to the Lord above all else and you know that he will also be faithful to you.

I believe this is one of the reasons the church requires all young men to serve missions. It shows their dedication to the Lord and they gain such an incredible amount of experience that helps them in their marriages. They learn to deal with companions, even if they annoy them. They learn how to work hard (and trust me, marriage is hard work!). They learn how to seek the guidance of the Spirit and follow it. Most importantly, I believe they are blessed in ways you can't see in their marriages for their faithfulness. Be willing to make this kind of sacrifice to the Lord, and expect the same in any man who wants to marry you.
Obedient - Your children will pick up on things you don't even realize. Even at one year old I'm FLOORED by the things that Sam picks up on and mimics. If you want your kids to be obedient to you the best thing to show them is how you are obedient to the leaders you say you sustain. If you hear them give you counsel, just do it! Even if it doesn't make sense to you have faith that the Lord wouldn't be giving it to us if it wasn't for our benefit. If you are willing to obey church leaders you will find the blessings of obedience in abundance in your life, and usually you will best understand why they give the counsel they do when you live it. It is such a strong example to your children and it will ALWAYS bless your life.
Constructive - Never criticize your spouse or children in mean ways. Even if it is in joking, don't call people names or belittle them. This is something I've had to work on. I am sarcastic by nature, but whenever you say something in sarcasm, generally you mean some part of it, and people know that and it hurts.

However, this isn't to say that you need to always be sunshine and rainbows towards others. One of the things that I learned in institute was the meaning of the word "betimes". It means often and immediately. So when you read in D&C 121:43 - "Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; " it means that we need to correct people quickly, immediately, and clearly. You don't do someone any favors by allowing them to continue doing things that hurt others. But it also points out that afterwards you need to show increased love. Be sure that whenever you point out someone's shortcomings you do it in the spirit of love because you want to help them, not because you want to tear them down.

Also, if you have criticisms of someone tell it to them and not to someone else. Gossiping doesn't help anyone. The person at fault doesn't know your feelings so they can't do anything about it and it just makes you feel worse. However, if you're going to give praise to someone I believe you should do it where others can hear. It will build their self-confidence and make them want to be even better. Praise publicly, criticize confidentially
Prayerful - Pray to the Lord for your family. In April General Conference just before I married Eric I came into conference with the question of what I needed to do to be a good wife. I listened intently to the speakers for things that I should be doing as a wife and didn't really come up with anything. Then in the very last talk by President Hinckley he gave this advice - "May there be peace and harmony in your homes. Husbands, love and treasure your wives. They are your most precious possessions. Wives, encourage and pray for your husbands. They need all the help they can get. Parents, treat your children with great kindness. They are the coming generation who will bring honor to your name." (full text here). It was the most powerful advice I've heard. Pray for your husband in everything he does. Whether it's big things or small things. The Lord is so mindful of our families and children and want the best for them. Pray for guidance with your children. You will need it every single step of the way. Children are such an incredible adventure and most of the time there's no way you could know what you ought to be doing without the guidance of the Lord. Remember that He loves them more than you do (although as a mother, it's hard to fathom how that's even possible) and He is willing and wanting to help you guide them through this life. You absolutely cannot raise your children without His guidance, so seek it out constantly.
Consistent - If you say you'll do it - do it. This was something I was shown is in the scriptures as the way the Lord deals with us (and what better example could we have as parents than our Heavenly Father?). In the book of Mosiah we read about the story of Alma and Abinadi. When Abinadi comes to the people he tells them - if you don't repent now you will be put into bondage. No one listens to him and he is finally burned at the stake. However, after Abinadi is burned Alma realizes that the words Abinadi spoke were true and is converted. He then goes about preaching the gospel and baptizing and converting others. They get a whole bunch of people together that are now followers of the gospel and they leave. And what happens to them? They're put in bondage, just like Abinadi said they would be. (see Mosiah 11 - 18, 23-24 for full account)

When you read this at first it doesn't seem fair. I mean, these are the good guys! They've repented and got baptized, why are they now put in bondage?!? It's because they didn't obey the commandments when they were told to and now they have to suffer the consequences. This is very important to realize when raising kids as well. If you give them instructions and affix a punishment with their failure to comply, if they fail to comply then you need to follow through with that punishment. This is HARD to do. You may have said that they would be grounded for a week, but then they're really good during that week and there's a big party that they want to go to that weekend - you need to stand firm. If your kids don't expect that you will follow through on what you say then they can't trust you. The other thing to realize with this is to be careful with what you say. Don't dole out punishments in anger that you don't really want to follow through on.
Peacemaking - Contention can destroy your home. Don't raise your voice or say unkind things. Don't fight in front of your kids. Show a united front with your husband, even if you have to wait to answer a child's question until you have discussed the solution and come to an agreement on a course of action.
Treat kids according to their needs - Every child comes in their own way and you can't expect each of them to have the same needs. When I was in high school I was shy and a bit of a homebody. I was MORE than happy to stay at home on Friday nights with my family and play games and just be with them. So my mom had to encourage me to do the things that were hard for me and encourage me to go out to football games and to parties. On the other hand, my sister Taylor is a self-proclaimed (and rightly so) party in a box. She is outgoing and fun and naturally wanted to be out with friends all the time. My mom had to limit her amount of going out so that she would have time at home with the family. This can apply to everyone, each person you meet will have different needs so be sure to treat them according to those needs.
Assume best intentions - Before you get married make sure your spouse isn't someone that would say mean things or do mean things towards you. So, if you are hurt by something he does or says assume that he doesn't intend to hurt you and approach him that way. Don't attack him for missteps he might take, but approach him with kindness and explain why his actions hurt you so that you can work together to fix the problems. I've found this to be a good way to approach most situations. Generally, people aren't going out of their way to do mean things towards you. So if they do something that hurts you approach it calmly and peacefully - attacking the other person only makes things worse.
Read scriptures and pray daily - All of the answers that you will need as a parent, spouse and person are in the scriptures and available as we have the Holy Ghost with us. Be sure you are always in a position to feel His promptings and obey them.
Bear testimony often - Find ways to teach your children through everything you do. Make sure they see you supporting church leaders, paying your tithing, saying your prayers, going to church, reading the scriptures, attending the temple etc. It will be a vital part of their own testimony. Teach them the principles of the gospel as you come across any situation that presents itself.
Humble - Realize that you don't know everything. There are so many people around us who want to help you be successful. Listen to their guidance and try to act on it.
Remember and keep covenants - Don't settle for less than a temple marriage, it's not worth it. Children have a right to be born into a family that has been sealed together forever. The covenants that you will make in the temple will strengthen you against all the evils in the world and help you become the best you can be. I can't imagine trying to be a mother without the protection and guidance I have received through my temple covenants. Marriage and parenthood is hard enough even with these blessings, you deserve nothing less than marriage in the temple to a young man who is worthy to take you there.
Forgiving - Be willing to apologize and forgive quickly, especially with your kids. If you realize you are in the wrong don't just try to hide it, apologize and let them know it. You will gain their respect and trust as you show them how to apologize and forgive.
Patient - Motherhood requires immense patience. Your kids will undo all of your housekeeping the moment you do it. Everything you will want to do will take twice as long just by taking your kids along. You will even need patience just to keep from decking the lady at church who states that she "can't understand parents who can't get their kids to sleep through the night, just put them to bed and let them sleep!" when your own 14-month old *still* won't sleep through the night... or anything like unto through the night (not that this happened to me... last week... at church :P).

Paying Tithing Online

2010-05-11T16:07:00.006-06:00

If you're like me then you have no doubt run into problems with remembering to pay your tithing when money comes in. It's not that I don't like paying tithing, or that I'm being grudging about it, I'm just not used to having to write checks. Tithing is pretty much the only check I write so I don't carry around a checkbook. Plus, since Eric and I have been married at least one of us has had a variable paycheck so each month if we *do* remember the checkbook we still have to figure out how much we owe. If we've left paystubs at home or forgotten when we paid last sometimes the math is too complex to figure out in sacrament meeting, and then another week goes by with our tithing unpaid. Not good.

So, I decided to do some research and find out if there's a way for me to pay my tithing online. I figure everything else gets paid online, why not tithing? It would make the difference between our tithing getting paid immediately when we receive income or when the stars aligned so that we knew how much we owed and had a pen, checkbook and tithing slip in sacrament meeting. The Church is fairly technically savvy so this didn't seem like too much of a stretch that I would be the only person looking for this.

Lo, and behold! There is a way to pay your tithing electronically! If your bank supports a bill pay option you can set up your bill pay to send tithing payments to the church. I found this article that gave really good instructions. The links in the article were outdated but I was able to find the form that he mentions here and the electronic donations page here (although the form is really all you need). I recommend reading through his whole article for the complete instructions. He even gives good tips to get all the paperwork electronically if you are paper averse (like Eric and I are :P). Also, if you're interested there is some interesting discussion on the subject on the LDS Tech forums (apparently elsewhere in the world tithing is *only* accepted electronically).

There are a couple important things to note about paying your tithing online

Your tithing will not show up on your end of the year report in your ward when you go in for tithing settlement, but you will receive a year end report from the church of what you have donated.
Your fast offerings will not go into your ward's fast offering account but instead into the general church fast offering fund. If you want it to go into your ward's specific fast offering account you'll need to still write a physical check.
Similarly you cannot contribute to the ward's mission fund or to a specific missionary's fund via online bill pay - you'll have to do that manually as well. However, you can make donations to the general missionary fund.

The one thing you won't find in the article is how to set up bill pay with your individual bank. You'll need to log in to your bank's website and determine if they support this functionality and find documentation on how to use it.

If you bank with USAA - we do and we LOVE them - they support free bill pay if you have a checking account. You can find their instructions on how to set up bill pay here.
If you bank with Deseret First Credit Union (which my family does, which is the only reason I'm including it here :P ), they also support bill pay for free *if* you use it at least once a month. I didn't realize there was that caveat when I first signed up for it, and since I didn't have any bills that I needed to pay online... I got charged $3ish each month that I had it. But if you're using it to at least pay tithing, that shouldn't be an issue. You can find instructions for Deseret First here.
If anyone finds instructions for setting up bill pay with other financial institutions please feel free to leave a link to them in the comments!

I hope someone else finds this information as useful as I did! Hopefully it will be even easier than it is now in the future, but the overall process wasn't too bad, and I'm so excited to not worry anymore about whether we're current in paying our tithing.

HUGE thanks to Russell Sperry for his very helpful article. All of my research started from there and I'm so grateful for him sharing his knowledge.

Also, another big thanks to Amber Fife for allowing me to use her picture at the top of this post. She posted it on Facebook and I thought it was an inspired picture. Contact her if you are interested in a larger format or prints!

Revelation

2010-05-01T00:14:00.001-06:00

Unfortunately I wasn't able to go visit one of the sisters I visit teach this month because she got strep :( But I promised her that I would at least email her the lesson and some thoughts if I couldn't get to visit her this month. I figured so long as I was doing it I might as well post it as a blog post too. So here it is...

The lesson for April is on personal revelation. I was really excited about it because it's something that has been on my mind recently. I've had a couple of interesting experiences in the past month that I wanted to share in conjunction with this topic. I've found a few different ways that the Lord answers our prayers through these experiences.

Last week I had sent Sam over to my sister's house for a few hours while I worked on some urgent projects for work. When I had completed my work I had a little bit of extra time so I decided to take advantage of it by listening to some of the talks from the most recent General Conference while I did some cleaning. I was listening to Elder Eyring's talk I had the thought pop into my head that I needed to email my little brother's friend, Ashley, and see if she needed help with her personal progress. Ashley isn't a member of the church because her parents won't allow her to get baptized until she is 18. She's been investigating the church for about two years now and it's been really neat to see her testimony growing. I'd been noticing on facebook as she's been posting about trying to complete her personal progress. That's a pretty big project to take on and it took me all 6 years in Young Women's to complete it all, so for her to try to take it on in the past little while was pretty impressive to me.

However, I don't know Ashley that well. I've met her a couple times when I've gone home for holidays, and we're facebook friends, but that's about the extent of it. I felt kinda weird asking out of the blue if she wanted help with her personal progress. But I remembered something that Amanda England told us once about her attitude towards inspiration. She says whenever she's trying to decide if something is inspiration or just her own thought she asks herself, "is it a good thing to do?" If the answer to that question is yes then she's decided that it doesn't matter if it's inspiration or herself, and she does it. I liked that, so since I decided that offering to help a young woman with personal progress was a good thing to do, I acted on it and sent that email. I'm SO glad that I did. That night I got an email back from Ashley saying that she'd been looking for someone to help her with her personal progress and praying that someone would step forward. She doesn't come from a great family environment and needed someone who could help her with the goals that require you to talk to a woman about characteristics that are valuable in a wife and mother. What a blessing! I felt so good to be needed and that I decided to act rather than wait.

I had another experience with a completely different matter. Eric and I have been making some serious considerations as to our plans for the future. As we've been doing so it's obviously been a subject in our prayers and we definitely are seeking the will of the Lord in our actions. A couple weeks ago I was working on our laundry while Sam was at my sister's (again, hmm, there seems to be a pattern here!). While I was doing so I was thinking about these decisions and trying to study them out in my mind. The thought came to me that while the house was quiet and I had some time to myself that I needed to kneel down and pray and pour out my soul to the Lord on the things we've been considering. So, I did. Not five minutes later I received an IM from Eric about a situation that had come up (probably in the time that I was kneeling and praying) that directly related to what we had been considering. I don't know if that situation would have come up the same way, or if we would have dealt with it in the same way if I hadn't just been praying before it happened. The experience didn't directly answer our prayers but it helped us decide what path we ought to pursue and I was so grateful for that guidance.

So far I've just shared a couple of experiences but what I really want to share is what I learned from them.

Apparently Sam is a detriment to my ability to receive revelation. Just kidding! Although, the fact is that both of these experiences happened when I didn't have him around. I think the real message for me was that I need to seek out quiet time to ponder on things if I want to receive revelation. It's much easier to hear the still small voice if we're taking the time to be still and listen.
When you receive revelation - act on it! Don't worry too much about whether it's really from the Lord or from yourself. My mom was at a fireside with Elder Bednar last week and someone asked him how to know when she was receiving answers to prayers. His answer was to stop asking and start doing. He told the girl asking the question that if she was asking the Lord sincerely for guidance and trying to follow the guidance she got, the He would not let her go astray. Once we've finished praying our job is to get on our feet and start moving in a direction, and if it's the wrong direction, we'll be stopped and guided in the right direction. I know I've found this so many times in my life that I don't receive answers to my prayers as thoughts or feelings while I'm praying, but that I'm directed in my actions as I get up and go to work.
The Lord loves us and is mindful of the things that are important to us. I think this is what impressed me most of all is however big or small our problems are the Lord finds ways to help us through them. Because Ashley prayed I was able to receive revelation to help her with her personal progress. Because I prayed, the situation with Eric became a little guide to us in our decision making process, rather than a frustration.

I loved the quotes in this month's message so I wanted to share a couple of them.

“We prepare to receive personal revelation as the prophets do, by studying the scriptures, fasting, praying, and building faith. Faith is the key. Remember Joseph’s preparation for the First Vision:
“‘If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God. …
“‘But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.’”
Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

I liked how Elder Hales points out that the way we gain personal revelation is the same process that the prophets do. We have access to the same powers and guidance that President Monson has, if we are willing to put the work in on our end to study and ask and then listen and do.

“Prayer is your personal key to heaven. The lock is on your side of the veil.
“But that is not all. To one who thought that revelation would flow without effort, the Lord said:
“‘You have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.
“‘But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.’”2
President Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

I liked this quote because it points out very clearly that we need to be the ones to seek revelation. The Lord can't help us unless we're willing to come to Him. Even though He knows the desires of our heart He has given us free agency to choose to accept His help and guidance or decide to do it on our own.

“In its more familiar forms, revelation or inspiration comes by means of words or thoughts communicated to the mind (see Enos 1:10; D&C 8:2–3), by sudden enlightenment (see D&C 6:14–15), by positive or negative feelings about proposed courses of action, or even by inspiring performances, as in the performing arts. As President Boyd K. Packer, … President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, has stated, ‘Inspiration comes more as a feeling than as a sound.’”3
Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

I liked how Elder Oaks illustrates some of the different ways we receive revelation. I know for me it comes in different ways at different times depending on what I have my mind opened to. At times I have a hard time always trusting my feelings, but later I've found that in many cases those feelings were leading me in the right way all along. I need to learn better to trust those feelings rather than putting too much stock in logical decision making processes.

“The temple is a house of learning. Much of the instruction imparted in the temple is symbolic and learned by the Spirit. This means we are taught from on high. … Our understanding of the meaning of the ordinances and covenants will increase as we return to the temple often with the attitude of learning and contemplating the eternal truths taught. … Let us enjoy the spiritual strength and the revelation we receive as we attend the temple regularly.”4
Silvia H. Allred, first counselor in the Relief Society general presidency.

Sister Allred's quote might have been my favorite. I think this is something I overlook too often. We are so blessed to live so close to so many temples. But somehow it's still always hard to make the time to go. You have to block out a chunk of time, find a babysitter, get dressed up and not let anything get in the way. And something ALWAYS tries to get in the way :P But I know that when you go to the temple with a prayer in your heart the Lord will help you find your answers.

Sorry this is so long, apparently I had a lot on my mind on this subject.

And it was good

2010-03-17T11:01:00.000-06:00

In Relief Society we were talking about the Creation on Sunday. I had a thought that I wanted to share. At the end of each day God surveys his works and declares them good. I think that's a good pattern for how we should live our days. At the end of the day we should think through the things we've done and see if we can declare them "good". We don't have to have done something spectacular like separate the land from the seas or create all the animals, just if the things that we are doing in our sphere can be considered good. Are you doing the things that would make you the kind of person you would like to become? Are you proud of the way you treated those you came across? Are you taking care of the things within your stewardship? I think it gives us the opportunity to find ways to improve ourselves each day and to realize where we are headed.

So, when you're going to bed tonight think - what have I done today? Have I done good?

(and no Taylor, that's not a grammatical error. I want to know if you have done good (things), not whether you were well today ;) )

BYU YA Hosting Tips!

2010-03-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

A bunch of the YA Tech Crew in Portland, OR(?) - February 2007

So I wanted to post today on a more nostalgic topic and throw in a lot of random pictures associated with that topic. For those of you who may not know, when I was in college I spent all four years on the tech crew for the BYU Young Ambassadors. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I truly feel like I grew so much as a person and had amazing opportunities to share the gospel with others.

The BYU Young Ambassadors is a singing and dancing group that tours nationally and internationally with the goal of spreading joy and the gospel of Jesus Christ. While the show itself is not at all preachy (mostly Broadway show tunes) I have seen how it has lifted people's lives and been an influence for good around the world.

Lexie, Amy and me in Hong Kong on tour - May 2007

Right now the Young Ambassadors are having a hard time getting the funding that they need to continue their program. BYU charges a minimal fee for venues to have the YAs come and perform which doesn't really cover the costs of rehearsal facilities, costumes, props, technical equipment, music licenses, travel or directors to lead the group. They rely heavily on donations from outside sources. So I would like to put out a plea on behalf of the Young Ambassadors for donations. Any amount that you can give will be appreciated. Plus, until March 15th the CEO of Omniture, Josh James (a former YA himself) is matching all donations 3-to-1! So even if you can only donate $10 it's like giving $40 to the Young Ambassadors!

So, if you've ever seen a YA show, or had a friend in the YAs, or (especially) if you were ever a YA yourself please consider going to http://give.byu.edu/ya and help perpetuate the wonderful legacy that is the Young Ambassadors. I've already donated some of my own money and I think it's a great cause for others to get behind as well.

YA Tech Crew 2005-2006 in Nauvoo, IL - May 2006

Now, since I didn't want this post to simply be begging for donations I thought I would finally write a post about some of my experiences in YAs that I've been meaning to write about for awhile. Particularly - host homes. Whenever the YAs are on the road they are hosted by families in the area that they are performing. After staying in dozens of host homes in my four years of YAs I had lots of wonderful experiences. I thought it might be good to post some tips for anyone who is hosting YAs (or any other BYU group for that matter).

* Note: These are only suggestions. Please don't feel like you can't host BYU students if you can't do any of these. We were always just grateful to have somewhere to rest our tired bodies at the end of the day and it is SUCH a blessing to have anywhere to go. *

Me in front of the restaurant where I almost ate a cricket to be polite - Hong Kong 2005

Please actually have somewhere for us to sleep. We're not real picky, air mattresses are great, or even sleeping bags on the floor. But please don't just point to a rug and plan on us sleeping on the floor all night with no blanket or pillow. (Yes, this sounds strange but it happened to me)
Try to repeat your name for your guests. In my four years of Young Ambassadors I stayed in well over 50 host homes (it might even be closer to 100 but I've totally lost track). For someone like me who has a really hard time remembering names it was really tough to keep track of the name of my hosts. Which always made me feel horrible because I was so grateful for their hospitality! So call your spouse and kids by their names when you're talking to them to give your guests a chance to hear the names again. Also, major bonus points if you have your family name on display somewhere in your house. I was always grateful for that in the mornings when I was trying to write a thank you note and trying to figure out the right spelling for our host family's name (is it Anderson or Andersen? Are there two t's in Bennet(t) or just one? Maiersperger?!? Uhm, maybe we'll just not put a name at the beginning and just dive into the note...)
If you can - offer to let us do our laundry. When you're on an extended tour and working hard all day long in a dirty theater or out dancing your heart out on hot stages your clothes get pretty stinky. Combine that with the fact that we have limited clothing options each day and will likely have to re-wear those clothes in a day or so and pretty quickly we're sharing more than just joy with those we meet. If you have a washer and dryer and don't mind us throwing in a small load of laundry you could be one of the favorite stops on the tour. There were few things better than having clean clothes on tour.
We talk about ourselves a lot, tell us about yourself! I loved visiting with host families. I learned so much about different people and lifestyles that just fascinated me. Don't think your family or location is that interesting? One of the most interesting places I visited was Albuquerque, New Mexico - no joke. Don't underestimate what your family has to offer.
Les us join you for family scriptures and prayers. This may sound silly, but this was one of my favorite things. While I was up at school I couldn't read scriptures at night with my family because they were in California. I LOVED reading scriptures with other families and getting to participate with them in their little family rituals. It really made me feel at home.
Show us how your shower works. I don't care how self-explanatory you think your shower is - it's not. I spent more time in host homes trying to figure out which way the shower turned on, or how to make the water hot than I care to think about. So as silly as this may sound, take a minute to show your guests which way to turn the knobs to get the hot water to go on, or warn them that the water takes a minute to warm up, or that it runs out suddenly. They'll be very grateful for your quick tutorial :)
Let us know what time we need to leave in the morning. Our groups run on really tight schedules and we don't really know how far you live from the stake center or what traffic is like in your town. Let us know when we should be downstairs for breakfast and what time we need to be out the door to get there on time. Don't be afraid to give us a solid time even if you have a pretty flexible morning routine. If breakfast is the last thing before we leave add about 5 minutes to however long you think breakfast will take so there's enough time to load up the car.
If you would like to have tech crew or band - ask! As a technician it was hard sometimes to get to a host home that was disappointed not to have performers. I totally understand wanting to have the fun people that you watched on stage in your home. Plus technicians generally are the last ones to get to come home, and have to leave earlier in the morning. I know we're not exactly a convenient lot to host. But, we do some interesting things and generally have interesting stories to share about what goes on behind the scenes. So, if you are some of the awesome people who would like to host technicians, let the person coordinating host homes know! You'll learn some fun things about what goes on behind the scenes and your guests will be really grateful to know that you're not disappointed to not have their performing counterparts.
Food advice. We work hard all day so we often come home hungry. But we're also generally fed REALLY well while we're on tour, so we might be stuffed. Don't be offended if we aren't hungry enough to eat the snack you might have prepared when we get back from the show, but know that we will probably be very grateful if it's there. In the morning, don't feel like you have to have an elaborate breakfast planned out, we're happy with cereal or toast (although a little bit of protein can be helpful to keep us going all day). If you're packing us lunches they don't have to be fancy either, just do whatever's easy! Also, if you are planning that we'll put together our own lunches with whatever you've laid out just plan that time into whenever you want us to be down for breakfast so that we don't end up being late.
Ask your guests to offer one of the prayers. I was always so touched when our hosts would pray for us in their nightly or morning prayers. I know it may sound trite but I really could feel their prayers helping us get through those long tours. However, I also appreciated a chance to offer a prayer and ask for blessings for the people who had opened their homes to us. There's not always much that we could give in return for the hospitality granted to us, but I liked to be able to do what we could.

Most importantly, just know how grateful we are for your hospitality. We wouldn't be able to have the opportunities we do without your kindness so THANK YOU!

* Any other past/present YAs have other hints that you'd like me to add to this list? Post them in the comments below! *

Alexis

2010-01-15T23:42:00.001-07:00

Some people come into your life for a little while and leave having changed it forever. Some people come and go without leaving much of a mark. Some people come and go, and reappear in the most unlikely places. You never know what kind of effect a person will have on your life.

Such is the case with Amy. My freshman year I lived in a ward of Amys. Literally I think we had 8 or more Amys in the ward. One of these Amys lived right next door to me. While we were always friendly with one another, I'd never say that we were fast friends. The year went by without us really getting to know each other too well.

A year or so later the Facebook craze hits BYU and we become Facebook friends and while it was nice to be able to stay in contact that way, our friendship remains at about that level.

Another couple years pass and I meet this guy, Eric Hansen. Well the story there is no secret, we met, started dating, fell in love, got engaged (about that quickly too). So, being the technological nerds that we are, one of the first places that news is announced - Facebook. One of the first people to comment on our engagement, was Amy. Why? Not only was she my neighbor for our entire freshman year, but she also happens to be Eric's cousin. Who knew?

So, another couple years pass and Eric and I are sitting at a Hansen family reunion next to Amy and her husband Zach. Just as we're sharing the news with them that I am pregnant, they tell us that she's also pregnant! Furthermore, in an exciting coincidence Amy is due near her birthday and I am due near Eric's. We are more excited still when a few weeks later we find out that she is having a girl and I'm having a boy. It feels like it's meant to be the second generation of Amy and Eric as cousins.

So the weeks go by and we share pregnancy tips with each other over Facebook and through emails. Slowly we get close to our due dates. I go to Amy's baby shower and we are so excited about the possibility of our kids being close friends. We commiserate about the third trimester woes and soak up all the advice that veteran moms are giving. It's so close and our excitement is definitely high. We're both to the point where we know that if our babies were born that, while a little premature, they would survive. The reality of becoming a mom is really starting to come home for me.

Then, not one week later, I get a phone call from Eric while I'm at work. I'd been watching for him online for hours wanting to share some link with him, so I'm really excited to finally be getting in contact with him. At the same time I'm a little confused because Eric almost never calls me at work. So I answer excitedly, not realizing what his phone call would mean. He tells me that Zach and Amy's baby had been born that morning, which totally excites me for a moment. Until he gets to the part that warranted a personal phone call in the middle of the workday - their baby was born still. Honestly, the news doesn't hit me right then. I know I should feel really sad about it, but it just hasn't hit me yet. I acknowledge what he said and ask if there was anything we can do for them. He says that the only thing for us to do is pray for them and we spend a brief moment thinking about their grief. I guess it was too much for me to truly process in that short period of time because the next thing I tell him is to get online so I can send him this link that I've been waiting to show him. I still regret that flippant move. I don't know what else to do though and I don't want to focus on the somber topic at hand just yet.

For some reason grief takes a long time to hit me. When my family moved from Fairport, New York to Thousand Oaks, California I didn't shed a single tear over that. Madness! I *loved* New York. It was my home. I had lived there my entire life and the last thing I wanted to do was to leave. Especially for California! I'd never pictured myself as a California girl and I never wanted to. But not a single tear. Until about 6 months after we'd already been in California. I was sitting down organizing our piano music one night and I just broke down. Why it hit me then I'll never know. Why not when I was telling my dearest friends goodbye? Why not as we were driving across the country? Why not after my first day at a new school? Nope, one random night while sorting piano music.

Well, my grief for Zach and Amy didn't take that long to hit me, but it did at least wait until the end of my work day. I kept myself busy until the moment I left. As I started to drive home I turn on one of my podcasts. But I can't focus on it. Finally I turn it off and let all of my thoughts hit me. It all hit in a big wave. By the time I got to the end of Salt Lake and heading up to the point of the mountain, I am sobbing. I just can't believe that this is happening. Yeah, I knew that sometimes babies were born still but the chances of that actually happening, and to someone that I really knew seemed so remote I just hadn't thought of it. Well, I mean I had, but I hadn't fully considered that it could happen to Amy. I'd just been at her baby shower a few days ago! She is supposed to be having her little girl that's going to be friends with my little boy.

My heart aches for Amy. I can't truly imagine the grief that she was going through at that time or that she's gone through since but it wasn't too hard to put myself in her shoes. I am only three weeks behind her. The awful thought strikes me that the same thing could just as easily happen to me in the weeks to come.

My tears were almost getting to a point where they would affect my driving so I need to find a way to calm myself down. I really want to talk to my mom and just cry to her over the phone for a little while, but I can't get in touch with her. Luckily, about the time I reach American Fork I get on the phone with my brother Cody. Since I don't feel like crying to him I am able to pull myself together and joke with him and talk with him the rest of the way home. While that may seem callous, it was probably for the best since it helped me get into a driving frame of mind and get home without crashing.

Over the next few days as Zach and Amy post pictures of their beautiful Alexis it hits me over and over again, the reality that their precious, perfect, beautiful baby girl was dead. That's not what was supposed to happen! They were supposed to be able to bring her home and post pictures of all the cute things she did, and we were going to go visit them and have fun together with our babies! But that wasn't meant to be. After awhile I have to cut myself off from looking at all the pictures and reading all the blog posts because it just hits too close to home. I start to get slightly hysterical at the thought that the same thing could happen to me and my Samuel. I know that thinking that way wasn't healthy or helpful to anyone so for a little while I cut myself off.

I missed the memorial service they had for Alexis. I really wanted to be there but the day of the service I'd been up late working on a project that I was still working on and really needed to get completed. Plus it was a ways away and Eric wasn't going to be able to come with me because he had class. I think though what really kept me was that I was worried about being a distraction. I was worried that at 35 weeks pregnant I was going to remind Zach and Amy that I was soon going to have - and likely get to keep - what they were there to bury. I felt guilty that it was them burying their baby and not me. Guilty for praying that I wouldn't have to go through what they were going through. I knew I couldn't change it, and I definitely don't think they or anyone else would have wanted me to be praying otherwise... I just didn't feel entirely like I ought to be there. So while I had other real and valid excuses that kept me away that day, I think deep down I just felt like I oughtn't be there.

The next several weeks went by in a flurry of activity and excitement as we got ready for Samuel to come. But in the middle of it all, Zach, Amy and Alexis were always on my mind. We prayed for them every single night. I talked about their tragedy with anyone who would listen. I was so impressed by their openness in sharing their experience and how they used it as a way to share their testimony of eternal families.

Then Samuel was born and my life has been totally centered on him ever since. But I still think of Alexis all the time. As I watch my Samuel growing up, I think of the 2nd cousin that was supposed to be here with him. Whenever I get discouraged because motherhood is hard, I try to remember that Amy would give anything to be sitting in my shoes having those trials rather than the ones she has to bear. Recently as I've been thinking it's time for Sam to learn to sleep in his own bed rather than in ours, I also want to cuddle him a little longer for Amy and Alexis' sake. Alexis has become a very real part of every parenting decision that I make, and I think I'm a better mother because of her.

A year has come and gone since the day I got that phone call. Alexis may not have had her chance at this life, but her spirit lives on. Because of her my testimony has been strengthened in the reality of eternal families. I have seen the power of prayers given in someone's behalf. I understand better the miracle that these precious babies are.

So, happy birthday Alexis. Your time here was short, but the world is a better place because you were in it. Thank you.

New Year's Resolutions 2010

2010-01-10T23:23:00.004-07:00

I already posted my report on my resolutions from last year but I haven't yet posted my new resolutions for 2010! I want to make these more quantifiable than last year's goals because I felt so good about being able to check those ones off, and the more abstract goals just made me feel sad that I wasn't perfect at them (which, let's face it, I never will be perfect in this life so why mope about it?) So without further ado...

Brittny's Resolutions for 2010

I will make it to the temple once a month. Not a new goal, but still a good one
I will complete my visiting teaching monthly. Another un-original but important goal.
I will exercise at least twice a week. This is going to require me to either get Eric to watch Sam a couple night's a week or go to the gym before they are up for the day, or not worry so much about leaving Sam in the daycare at Gold's Gym. I'll give myself a bye for this past week since Sam was sick, but it's time for me to step it up!
I will memorize 10 scriptures. This is a goal I set just about every year and I don't think I've ever actually done it. I think I'll put picking out these scriptures on my list of things to do for this week.
Get a blog post up weekly. That's not necessarily a goal for this blog. Hopefully most of my posts will be up in our family blog, but I will count posts here or in my family's highs and lows blog.
Learn 25 new Chinese words. For each word I want to learn how to recognize the symbol, pronounce the word (with the correct tone) and be able to identify it in a sentence. Obviously if we move to China this year I will have to increase this goal exponentially, but hopefully this will give me a good start.
Set up a budget and stick to it. I'm setting myself up with Mint.com and I'm LOVING it. I want to set us up with a reasonable but frugal budget and stick with it. We've been blessed to have good steady employment and neither of us are spendy people which I'm very grateful for. However, I want to make sure we're using our money wisely and working towards saving money for later. I really like using Mint.com because they make it super easy to do this (I highly recommend it to anyone else who's looking for a good way to track their money).
Our condo is cleaned up acceptable for company at least once a week. I gave Eric the task of selecting one goal for me and this is the one he picked. It was a perfect pick too. Reasonable, quantifiable and will make our lives much better. Thanks Eric!
I will read through the entire Old Testament. I love the scriptures but I still don't feel I'm super familiar with the Old Testament. Since this is the course of study this year for Sunday School anyways I think this will help me to be more prepared for Sunday School each week and to gain a greater appreciation for the Old Testament.
Arrange at least one social interaction for Sam each week. I worry that Sam and I are becoming too isolated. We can go an entire week without seeing anyone other than Eric and my sister and brother-in-law. Many weeks the only time we get out of the house is to go to church. Hopefully this will help Sam overcome his stranger anxiety and help us both feel less isolated. Of course I will suspend this goal if Sam is sick. Isolation is a fair price to pay to keep other kids from getting sick!

I feel good about these goals. Even if I don't achieve all of them I feel like the pursuit of them will help me be a better person. And now you are all out there to hold me accountable for them! Ideally I'll post each week to see how my progress is going, but realistically... I'll probably post about them again in 2011 :P Here's to 2010!

2009 Resolution Recap

2010-01-01T13:09:00.003-07:00

As 2009 is now over I think it's time to see how I did on my New Year's Resolutions this year. So here's my reporting -

Brittny's Resolutions for 2009

I will learn to balance motherhood, being a wife and working. Definitely still an ongoing goal, but I do feel like I'm getting better at this all the time. I still often get overwhelmed with all that I'm trying to accomplish, but it's getting better.
I will make it to the temple once a month. That would have been nice... I did try to make it as often as I could and I think we at least made it once each quarter of the year, but the once a month thing just didn't happen with a new baby and crazy schedules.
I will complete my visiting teaching monthly. Sadly I didn't do too well at this one either. Although, I didn't have an assignment August - October, and I did at least go drop off treats to all my girls in November. I don't think I missed a month though from January - August, so I guess it was really just this last month that I missed
I will feed our family more nutritious meals. This definitely did seem to improve during the year. It helped not having to commute every day. It's also helped as I've been working at planning out our meals at the beginning of each week so that I don't just opt for Pasta Roni or quesadillas every night :)
I will exercise at least twice a week. HAHAHA! Yeah, not by a long shot. I do have a gym membership now... but I think it's been used about 3 times since I got it. Which isn't to say that I sit around all day. In fact, I now weigh less than I did in high school thanks to nursing and carrying/chasing a baby all over. I would like to get real exercise in though.
I will do better with my daily scripture study. We've definitely gotten better at making sure scripture study is a more consistent part of each day, but it could still use some improvement.
I will do better about having personal morning and evening prayer as well as praying with my husband each night. Better - yes. Long way still to go - yes.
I will memorize 10 scriptures. Ummm, no. Dangit. I need to come up with a good way to put some scriptures somewhere that I can focus on them to memorize them.
I will add 5 new meals to our family's repertoire of meal plans. I think this one I actually did! I've added a new fettucinne alfredo recipe to our list (SO good), Jeanine Eyre Bee's meatloaf recipe, slow cooker chicken and dumplings, baked barbeque chicken and baked macaroni and cheese! That's not a comprehensive list, but it does go to show that I did at least add as many as I set out to add. Yay! This has been a fun goal to work on and I've really learned to enjoy cooking and trying out new recipes this year.
I will read 5 novels. I got an Audible subscription this year which definitely helped with this goal. I read Sarah by Orson Scott Card, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (and the sequel Catching Fire), The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (sorry, no link. This book had parts that were a little more explicit than I feel good about recommending to people), A Series of Unfortunate Events #1 - A Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Looks like I was cutting it close on that goal! I read a lot of other books this year, but my goal was specifically for novels and I believe these were the only novels I read.

So overall not too bad. Definitely still room for improvement but I'm happy with the things I did accomplish over this past year. Stay tuned for my new resolutions for 2010!

Obedience

2009-10-15T01:42:00.002-06:00

A couple weeks ago Eric and I were assigned to talk about Obedience in our ward's sacrament meeting. Since I put a fair amount of work into that talk I decided it would be beneficial to share it with everyone else as well. So, minus the story of how Eric and I met and who we are... here's that talk!

I've decided to base my talk around a story shared by Elder Holland in last October's General Conference. I apologize that it is such a long story, but it illustrated several aspects of obedience that I wanted to share. The story is of Elder Holland's friend Clyn D. Barrus. Elder Holland said,

"Referring to his childhood on a large Idaho farm, Brother Barrus spoke of his nightly assignment to round up the cows at milking time. Because the cows pastured in a field bordered by the occasionally treacherous Teton River, the strict rule in the Barrus household was that during the spring flood season the children were never to go after any cows who ventured across the river. They were always to return home and seek mature help.

One Saturday just after his seventh birthday, Brother Barrus's parents promised the family a night at the movies if the chores were done on time. But when young Clyn arrived at the pasture, the cows he sought had crossed the river, even though it was running at high flood stage. Knowing his rare night at the movies was in jeopardy, he decided to go after the cows himself, even though he had been warned many times never to do so.

As the seven-year-old urged his old horse, Banner, down into the cold, swift stream, the horse's head barely cleared the water. An adult sitting on the horse would have been safe, but at Brother Barrus's tender age, the current completely covered him except when the horse lunged forward several times, bringing Clyn's head above water just enough to gasp for air.

Here I turn to Brother Barrus's own words:
“When Banner finally climbed the other bank, I realized that my life had been in grave danger and that I had done a terrible thing—I had knowingly disobeyed my father. I felt that I could redeem myself only by bringing the cows home safely. Maybe then my father would forgive me. But it was already dusk, and I didn't know for sure where I was. Despair overwhelmed me. I was wet and cold, lost and afraid.

“I climbed down from old Banner, fell to the ground by his feet, and began to cry. Between thick sobs, I tried to offer a prayer, repeating over and over to my Father in Heaven, ‘I'm sorry. Forgive me! I'm sorry. Forgive me!'
“I prayed for a long time. When I finally looked up, I saw through my tears a figure dressed in white walking toward me. In the dark, I felt certain it must be an angel sent in answer to my prayers. I did not move or make a sound as the figure approached, so overwhelmed was I by what I saw. Would the Lord really send an angel to me, who had been so disobedient?

“Then a familiar voice said, ‘Son, I've been looking for you.' In the darkness I recognized the voice of my father and ran to his outstretched arms. He held me tightly, then said gently, ‘I was worried. I'm glad I found you.'

“I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but only disjointed words came out of my trembling lips—'Thank you . . . darkness . . . afraid . . . river . . . alone.' Later that night I learned that when I had not returned from the pasture, my father had come looking for me. When neither I nor the cows were to be found, he knew I had crossed the river and was in danger. Because it was dark and time was of the essence, he removed his clothes down to his long white thermal underwear, tied his shoes around his neck, and swam a treacherous river to rescue a wayward son."
Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Ministry of Angels,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 29–31

There are several principles that are taught in this story that I feel are important to this topic

1) Commandments are for our good
It's very clear from the story that had Clyn been obedient to his parents counsel to not cross the river during the spring season he would have avoided a very dangerous situation. They knew that a young seven year old boy could easily be overtaken by the swift current. Because his parents loved him they had his best interests in mind when giving that rule.

This reminded me of a passage I read a while back in Doctrine and Covenants 59. A verse in that section that referred to the commandments in a way that I hadn't considered before. Verse 4 in that chapter reads: ...They shall also be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with commandments not a few, and with revelations in their time—they that are faithful and diligent before me.
The phrase that struck me from that verse was that the saints would be "crowned with blessings [and] commandments". Somehow I'd never thought of commandments as being blessings. They'd always seemed like those things that we had to do, which would help us obtain blessings, but I'd never thought of the commandments themselves as being blessings. However, as I thought about it they certainly are blessings. The commandments we have are given to us by a loving Heavenly Father who has our best interests in mind. Like young Clyn's parents our loving Heavenly Father is trying to keep us from dangerous situations. Our Father in Heaven knows the outcomes of bad choices and wants to keep us from them. All commandments are for our protection and good. When we obey the commandments in the Word of Wisdom we keep ourselves free from the dangers of drunk driving, or lung cancer from cigarette smoke, or the loss of control that comes from using illicit drugs. You can find the same thing with any commandment we are given, they are for our benefit. What greater blessings could we ask for than guidance to keep us from choices that will cause us suffering?

But sometimes we are like young children who don't seem to understand that the rules their parents give them are to keep them from danger. Recently we've been trying to teach our son Samuel that he is not impervious to gravity as he would like to think. Again and again we try to pull him from the edge of our bed so that he doesn't climb right off. But each time he tries to climb right back to the edge. I'm sure in his mind he's saying "But Mom, look, there's cool stuff at the edge of the bed, I want to go see that stuff so I'm going to go that way". Of course, I know that if he crawls off the edge of the bed he will fall and be hurt. I think Heavenly Father looks at us the same way. He gives us guidance and counsel, "No, really, you don't want to break that commandment, it will bring you suffering". But we turn back to him like a small child, "but look at all the other people who are doing it. They make it look so fun!" Of course, in the end Heavenly Father knows what's best for us and if we disobey his counsel the suffering he foretold will come to pass, just like if Sam crawled off the bed he would fall and get hurt like I've warned him.

2) If we are not quickly obedient it wastes our time
In this story young Clyn decided to be disobedient because he wanted to bring the cows home fast so that he could enjoy a night at the movies. However, I'm guessing that in the end his disobedience cost him that night out.

It reminded me of the story of Lehi's family. In 1 Nephi 17 verse 4 we find out that they spent 8 years wandering in the wilderness before getting to the promised land. I wondered if that time would have been considerably shorter if Laman and Lemuel had spent their time working towards getting to the promised land and obeying the commandments rather than murmuring about it the whole time. Likewise the Children of Israel could have probably saved a lot of their 40 years of wandering around in the wilderness by just quickly obeying the Lord's commandments rather than stopping to build golden calves.

In a well loved primary song we are taught "when my mother calls me quickly I'll obey". It reminded me of a lesson on obedience that a home teacher gave my family many years ago. In his lesson he introduced to us what he called the obey sign. His proposed sign was this simple hand gesture. He told us that if our mom or dad ever gave us the obey sign that we had to remember his lesson and immediately obey. I know, it sounds really hokey, right? The strange thing is, it worked. For the next several years when one of us kids would complain about a chore inevitably one of the other kids would call out "Mom! Give them the obey sign!" As soon as my mom whipped it out it was like a hex, and the complaining child felt like they had to do whatever they'd been assigned to do.

What changed by introducing the obey sign? Nothing really. It wasn't truly a hex that caused instant obedience. We were simply reminded of a commitment we'd made previously as well as the futility of complaining about the task at hand. Perhaps we should implement our own obey sign to remind us not to complain about the commandments we've been given. Life is better if we will "quickly obey" rather than making ourselves miserable complaining.

3) Our actions of disobedience don't just hurt ourselves but also harm others around us

In Brother Barrus' story not only was he put in danger, but his father then was put in danger as well. His father had to swim across the nearly flooded river to rescue his son. Also, if indeed his disobedience cost him his night at the movies, his siblings and parents likewise would have been kept from that treat. In the story of Lehi's family Laman and Lemuel's disobedience kept Nephi and Sam and all those who were being righteous from getting to the promised land as quickly as they could have. Furthermore, I'm sure that the righteous among the Children of Israel weren't too happy that they had to wander for 40 years while the rest of their people got their acts together.

I have seen an example of this recently. A dear friend of mine has made some really bad choices in the past year. I'm sure that in the world most people would look at the things he did and say that he was only hurting himself and that he should have done whatever he wanted. However, I've seen how the choices he made deeply affected his family and friends. His personal bad decisions have since cost his parents a great deal of money, not to mention many many hours of hurt, frustration and betrayal spent by every member of his family and many of his friends. Although at the time he could have easily justified his actions by saying that it's his own life and that he can do what he wants and just face the consequences later, he was not the only one who had to face the consequences. None of us live in a vacuum. Every decision you make effects those around you, whether you realize it at the time or not. Don't ever let Satan catch you with the lie that your actions won't hurt anyone else, it's simply not true.

So far I feel like my talk has been on more of a negative note, but in Clyn's story there is ultimately a happy ending.

4) Even when we go astray Heavenly Father loves us

When Clyn realizes his mistake he prays for forgiveness and in answer to his prayer his father comes, and takes him in his arms and tells him how glad he is that he's safe. In a moment where young Clyn was probably in deep despair his father's love and help erases the problems he is having.

We have the blessing of the Atonement in our lives which works much the same way. In the third article of faith we read:
We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. When we realize that we've done wrong we can turn to the Lord and he will take us in his arms. We can repent and Jesus Christ will erase the mistakes we have made. I would like to finish with a final quote from Elder Holland's talk -

"I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.” On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting."

As we prepare for General Conference this week I hope we can all take the challenge to listen to the counsel that we are given by those who we sustain as prophets, seers and revelators. And when we get that counsel let's remember to obey it quickly.

I know that as we are quickly obedient to the commandments given us we will be blessed.

Tuning Out

2009-08-27T01:13:00.005-06:00

Being a new mom has been an interesting experience. Spending all of your time caring for a baby changes your perspective on a lot of different things. One thing in particular it has opened my eyes to is how much media is inundating my life. See, as a new mom, I find it very hard to get out of the house much, which means that I crave spending time with people who have passed their first birthday (no offense Sam) more than ever. However, it seems like whenever I do get opportunities to get time with real people we're generally sitting glued to the TV. Worse still often we waste time with real people by staring at computer screens, or cell phones, or listening to iPods. That face time that I am so anxious to have with other people is quickly wasted in a drone of media.

Another reason I am more aware of all the media around me is that I see how it affects a baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not allowing children to watch TV until they are 2 years old. They say that introducing this much media at such a young age contributes to ADD. Although Sam is not yet 6 months old I can already see how this is the case. He is already very drawn to technology (no surprise considering who his parents are) and is fascinated by watching the moving pictures on a TV screen or cell phone. While I enjoy seeing him be fascinated by these things, I can already see that by introducing him to these mediums so early on he expects to have entertainment at his disposal immediately and isn't as inclined to be entertained by learning things about his environment as he ought to be.

I've never been an anti-media type person but I feel that right now we are drowning in a sea of media. Which is why when I read this article it really hit home. It reminded me of a program we did as a primary one year. They had a cool name for it which I can't remember now, but what we did was give up TV for the month of September right up to General Conference. The idea being that it got us more in the mode of being ready for Conference. At the beginning of the month I thought it was the worst thing ever. A whole month without TV?! How would we ever make it?? But as the month went on I missed it less and less. In fact, after the month was over I found that I just didn't watch TV as much ever again... until about my senior year of college after which my TV consumption has slowly been on the rise. Who would have thought that a simple program like that could have such a long lasting (although obviously not permanent) impact? That's not to say that I hated TV or I never wanted to watch it, but what had once been almost an addiction had lost a lot of its appeal. I really liked it better when I was that way and would like to return to that state of being less addicted to the media.

In preparation for this upcoming General Conference I would like to try a similar program. The hard thing is that the media I consume today isn't just TV but a barrage of different types of media. Of course, in my line of work and in the age we live it is impractical to completely unplug for a month, but my plan is to set myself some very definite and drastic limits for my media intake for the next month. Since I'm accountable to all of you on the internet, I feel that much more responsible to actually follow through. My plan might change slightly between now and when I have to start but here's what I'm planning to do:

Starting Tuesday, 01 September 2009 until Saturday, 03 October 2009 I will:

Not watch an episode of any TV show via cable, internet or stored on the computer

Watch no more than one movie each week - although I'd rather take that out and say no movies at all, but I'm not sure how Eric will take to me not watching anything with him for a month, right after he's just gotten a new TV :P

Not play any games on my computer or cell phone (Word Twist, Bubble Breaker, Solitare... none of the exciting games that I normally play :P)

Only read blogs from my PDA while doing other things that might take up my time but not require my mind (i.e. mostly feeding Sam), or during a time not to exceed 15 minutes per day for blogs that don't render well on my cell phone

Only sign into Facebook once per day and spend no more than 15 minutes on that site

Only go on YouTube to watch videos that are uplifting or educational (i.e. Mormon Messages or parenting help videos)

Limit my time spent shopping online (it's the only way I shop, so I can't eliminate it completely) to no more than 2 hours per week

Limit my time listening to podcasts or audiobooks to 1 hour per day, excepting scriptures, podcasts from the Church and other church materials

Limit other time spent on the internet for purposes other than work, email, calendaring and similar daily functions to no more than 30 minutes in a day

The real success is in the things that I want to do with my time instead. One of the hardest parts is coming up with other things to do in the time that we get so used to filling with media. Here are some of the things I'd like to do:

Read the book for the Relief Society book club for the month of September

Daily personal and family scripture study

Daily personal and family prayers

Find a piano and spend at least 5 hours practicing and working on a piece to be able to play with Eric (yes, I know that 5 hours over the course of a month isn't exactly a lofty goal but I do still have a baby that likely won't let me practice for very long at a time)

Have the dishes done at the end of each day

Attend the temple twice

Walk at least 3 miles a week (or more preferably finally find time to make use of my gym membership)

These aren't the highest goals that I've set for myself, but I wanted to make sure they were attainable goals for me with a baby. So, there you have it, my goals for reducing my media consumption in preparation for General Conference. Anyone want to join me? I know it sounds daunting, but I can promise that if you will make your own such goals you will get more out of this upcoming General Conference as well as find more ways to enrich your life.

Weird Dreams

2009-05-02T07:18:00.003-06:00

So, since Samuel's been born I've been having more weird dreams than ever before. Which isn't to say that I think my dreams have gotten weirder. I think that since I end up getting my sleep in lots of small chunks instead of one continuous sleep I wake up remembering my dreams more often.

Last night I dreamed that I was taking the final exam for American Heritage. Unfortunately since I haven't been attending American Heritage I didn't know the answers to any of the questions. Plus, it meant that I hadn't known what to bring for the final and didn't know that a portion of it was open book and so I didn't have my book either. I couldn't even come up with reasonable guesses for any of the questions. Somehow everyone else was having a similarly difficult time. And a lot of people were cheating. The teacher was really upset that no one had learned anything all semester (and for some reason my American Heritage teacher was Stephen E. Robinson - my New Testament teacher). Suddenly I realized that I didn't know why I was taking American Heritage this semester anyways... since I aced it the first time I took it. I still couldn't convince myself to turn in a test that I hadn't answered any questions on, even though failing the class wouldn't affect my GPA since I already had an A on my transcript.

So the real question is, why do I still have nightmares about being unprepared for tests TWO YEARS after finishing college?? Will they ever stop?

Bucket List

2009-04-28T12:00:00.000-06:00

The Bucket List. Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, then tag your friends (including me). Not sure who came up with this one, but it's interesting and easy.

Things you have done during your lifetime (so far):

(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Been on a roller coaster
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
(X) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Seen the Grand Canyon
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Have had a child
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Seen the Alps
( ) Been deep sea fishing
(X) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
(X) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(X) Traveled by motorcycle (Eric's scooter counts, right?)
(X) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco Cable car
(X) Been to Disneyland/World
(X) Truly believed in the power of prayer
(X) Been in a rain forest
(X) Seen whales in the ocean
(X) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
(X) Been to the Olympics
(X) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying (done what?!)
(X) Been water-skiing
(X) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
(X) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
( ) Sailed on the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
( ) Been to a National Hockey League game
( ) Swam with stingrays
(X) Been parasailing
( ) Been to the Caribbean
( ) Climbed to the top of the Bunker Hill Monument
(X) Had flowers sent to you
(X) Been to Las Vegas
(X) Been to New York City
( ) Been in Times Square - If I have I was only about a year old so I don't remember it
( ) Been to Venice, Italy
(X) Been on TV - the day I was born! Woot!

Tagged!

2009-01-18T21:35:00.002-07:00

I don't think I've ever been tagged before, even though I know I've filled out a jillion of these kinds of things in my LiveJournal just for the heck of it. But, Becca Mock tagged me so here goes the 8 things tag!

8 Favorite TV Shows
Man, I really used to not watch TV all that much and I'd have had a hard time coming up with 8 TV shows that I was even interested in. Unfortunately, getting married has increased my TV watching pretty exponentially and now I have to limit myself to 8 :P
1. Mythbusters
2. The Office
3. 30 Rock
4. Big Bang Theory (seriously, anyone who is a nerd or is married to a nerd, or is friends with nerds will get a kick out of this show. I highly recommend it!)
5. NCIS
6. House
7. The Colbert Report
8. How I Met Your Mother

8 Favorite Dishes
I don't know if these are "favorites" since my favorite thing is generally trying new things, but here are 8 things that I definitely like eating.
1. Fettuccine Alfredo.
2. Sesame Chicken
3. Paninis
4. French Onion Soup
5. Potstickers
6. Enchiladas
7. Fried Rice
8. Anything that I don't have to cook :)

8 Things That Happened Yesterday
1. Got all of the dishes done!! (I could have gone back to bed at that point and felt like I'd had a productive day.. is that sad or what?)
2. Cried over the ending of Little Women - apparently the combination of pregnancy hormones and the movie version of one of my very favorite books wasn't so good :P
3. Helped Amber and Crystal plan a baby shower for me - thanks again so much you guys!!
4. Finally got to meet Eric's best friend Levi!
5. Played some Raving Rabbids 3
6. Went to Zupas with Eric for dinner - this is definitely one of our new favorite restaurants
7. Watched Sahara with Eric, even though we'd seen it before
8. Went to bed earlier than usual - which may not sound that exciting... but to a pregnant woman who isn't sleeping well... it was heavenly!

8 Things I Look Forward To
1. Samuel being born!
2. Eric graduating
3. Finding out what exactly we're going to do once Eric graduates - still no word from Omniture about the Taiwan position. Luckily Eric can just go full time doing what he's doing now, but it's not really what he wants to do long term, and we don't really want to be in Utah once he finishes school. He's planning on putting in his resume with some other companies just to see what's out there. It'd just be nice to know where we're going to be a few months from now :P
4. Taylor's wedding!!
5. Finishing up the big project I'm working on at work
6. Not having to commute down to Salt Lake anymore! Friday was my last day in the office, and now I'm on sorta maternity leave? I'm still working full time, but full time from my couch, which means that I'll actually have some time to work on organizing our apartment to prepare for our baby to come. I'm so grateful that I work in a field where working from home is an option!
7. Eric working normal hours - I know this is sort of a combination of graduating and finding out what's coming next, but I can't wait for him to be working non-night shift hours so that I can actually see him during the evenings and we can plan to do things with other couples. Ever since we started dating he's worked really strange hours, except for a couple of months while he was training at Omniture, but he was working on a huge school project at that time anyways so I still didn't really get to see him in the evenings. We've had 4pm - 4am shifts while we were engaged, 4am - 4pm shifts when we were first married, and now 5pm - 10:30pm (and starting at 3pm on Sundays) Sunday - Thursday. Somehow we just can't get away from those weird shifts! Working at the Network Operations Center for the Church meant weird hours and Sunday shifts (if the Church's systems went down on Sunday that would definitely be mayhem, and probably the most likely time for them to go down. It is kinda weird though that working for the Church means mandatory working on Sundays :P ), and now that Eric's job is basically to do technical support for China... which is not on the same time zone as we are - hence the workweek starting at 3pm on Sunday. I'm not trying to complain, I think we've been able to handle it pretty well, but I will definitely be grateful when he has a job that doesn't require late nights and Sundays - even if that means moving to Taiwan to be on the same time zone as the job he wants.
8. Did I mention that I'm pretty excited for Samuel to be born?? Not only am I excited to be a mom, but I'm excited to have my body back to myself and give up some of the pregnancy symptoms - heartburn, not sleeping well, being kicked so much that I feel like my guts are going to be bruised, generally being a whale :) I really don't have much to complain about with this pregnancy but I'm not going to be sad when the baby is out either ;)

8 Things I Love about Winter
Hmm.. this is a difficult question since winter is generally not my favorite season...
1. Watching snow fall - it really just makes me happy inside to watch the snow fall, especially for the first time in the winter, and especially if I don't have to drive in it and I know that Eric doesn't have to ride his scooter in it
2. Wearing sweaters
3. Christmas! I love getting to spend time with family around the holidays
4. Having a good excuse to drink hot chocolate :)
5. Cuddling with Eric :)
6. Eric getting to go skiing - not a big fan of skiing myself, but Eric really enjoys it and I like seeing him happy.
7. I like that it's the season that Eric and I started dating and got engaged in, lots of good memories around this time of year.
8. Is it bad for me to say that I love when it's over? It's not even so much that I hate winter so much as it really is exciting to see it turn into spring. It's not as exciting in California to watch the seasons change because it's pretty similar from one season to the next. It's so much fun having spring after having had winter.

8 Things on my Wish list
Wow, this question was actually really helpful for me figuring out what there is left that we really need before Samuel comes! I've been trying to put together registries and comparing different products and stuff, but it was good to see what things I really do want to have before he comes.
1. A rocking chair
2. Sheets for the crib
3. Diapers and wipes (not real exciting... but probably the one thing that we really *need* before Samuel comes)
4. A diaper bag
5. A Diaper Genie (yay for a trash can that masks smelly diapers!)
6. A Pack 'n Play
7. A new dresser so we have somewhere for all of the cute clothes we have for Samuel! - I really need to make it to Ikea so I can use this gift card that we got for our wedding.
8. A baby swing

I tag: anyone who feels like doing this. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to do it, but they are kinda fun to do just for yourself in my opinion.

Thanks for tagging me Becca! I really enjoyed doing this a lot more than I'd expected.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-04T13:52:00.003-07:00

I know it is pretty trite to make a post of New Year's Resolutions, but so be it. For several years New Year's has actually been my favorite holiday, which may sound strange to a lot of people. I love Christmas and all the family and joy surrounding it, but it's a holiday that is a little bit bloated with traditions and presents and stuff. I wouldn't want to take away any of the things that we do surrounding Christmas because I love all of those traditions. However, I love that New Year's doesn't have any of that. Usually it's just a quiet day with nothing in particular that you're expected to do. I like using that day to reflect on the past year and the things I'd done to make myself better, or ways in which I had fallen short and renew my commitments to be a better person. There's still the lingering spirit of Christmas and time spent with family, but there's no pressure to do anything.

This year of course I didn't really use the day to make my resolutions but spent the day with my husband just relaxing. It was a much needed break so I don't feel bad about putting together my resolutions a few days later.

I've heard the argument that New Year's Resolutions are silly because there's not really something magical about the New Year that makes it good for making changes. On December 31st the clock changes from 11:59pm to 12:00am the same as it does on any other day. This is true and I fully agree that we shouldn't need to wait for the New Year to make changes. It would be better to evaluate ourselves every single day and constantly be striving to improve. However, I like it as a milestone where I have an excuse to reflect on the path my life is taking me on and if it's the path I'd like to be on. Ideally I try to check in with myself each week and set weekly goals and see how I'm doing on my yearly goals, but I'm not always perfect on that. At least once a year though I know that I've evaluated the direction of my life and that's a good feeling.

Brittny's Resolutions for 2009

I will learn to balance motherhood, being a wife and working. This is probably my biggest goal for this coming year. It's not easily quantifiable like a lot of my other goals but it's definitely the most challenging. Being a mother is going to be a whole new adventure that I've never encountered before but I'm excited for it. Less than 2 months remain before our little Samuel is here and I know that my life will never be the same again. I'm not sure how it will go trying to be a supportive wife, mother a baby, keep house, and work from home. Luckily, I know what my priorities are and I've accepted that some things that were once priorities may have to slide. We'll see how this goes.

I will make it to the temple once a month. Once upon a time I was making it to the temple every week, but having a full time job and being a housewife have seemingly put a damper on that. Plus, since Eric and I work opposite schedules it has become very difficult for us to even coordinate a time to go. So, the lofty goal of weekly attendance will have to take a backseat to the more realistic goal of monthly attendance for the time being.

I will complete my visiting teaching monthly. This should be a given, but I'm not always as good at this as I would like to be. It's always easier to make sure this is getting done when I have a specific resolution to do it as well as the commitment that I've always had in my heart.

I will feed our family more nutritious meals. I need to work on adding more fruits and vegetables into our diets and less processed foods. Hopefully this will get easier as I won't be commuting to Salt Lake starting in a couple of weeks and I'll have more time available to me to cook decent meals for us.

I will exercise at least twice a week. I know that the recommendation is for at least three times per week (and really for every day of the week). However, considering my current workout schedule (read: hardly ever) I don't want to overwhelm myself with a goal that I'll never be able to achieve and use that as an excuse to give up. I know that I'm not going to lose all of the baby weight immediately, but I'd like to work my way down to a healthy weight by the end of the year.

I will do better with my daily scripture study. I really love reading the scriptures, but for some reason it always takes a lot of effort to start reading them. I think partly because I have a Pavlovian response to reading the scriptures - they make me sleepy. See, my family always read scriptures as the last thing before going to bed at night, so my body associates scripture reading with bedtime and I automatically start yawning as soon as I open them, regardless of the time of day. I would really like to try and break that reaction and start reading at the beginning of the day when I'm more alert. But if nothing else I'd like to at least do better about making it a more consistent part of my daily routine.

I will do better about having personal morning and evening prayer as well as praying with my husband each night. I think this has been a resolution of mine every year since I started making resolutions (well, except for the praying with my husband part). It's still not something I'm super great at so it will continue to be a goal until I am (which probably means until I die).

I will memorize 10 scriptures. I still need to decide what these 10 scriptures will be, but I know that as I have more scriptures memorized it helps me to remember the things that are important. I haven't really memorized new scriptures since seminary but I think it will be more fun to memorize ones that I choose rather than just the ones given to me on a list.

I will add 5 new meals to our family's repertoire of meal plans. I have a relatively limited number of meals that I can make well and we end up eating those over and over again. I'd like to find some new recipes that I can master over the course of this next year that are healthy and relatively simple. This goal is two-fold in that I want to improve my cooking skills, and add variety to our weekly meal plans. (any recipe suggestions would be more than welcome :)

I will read 5 novels. Once upon a time this was not a goal for me at all but more of a monthly occurrence. However, I no longer find time to read books that I enjoy like I once did. This is a goal that goes along with my goal of balancing things. It's something that I should do for myself, not necessarily for any great personal improvement.

I'm sure there are other goals that I ought to set for myself, however it's probably best if I limit myself to 10 or I will be too overwhelmed by the volume of my goals to complete any of them. I'll try to check in periodically throughout the course of the year and see how I'm doing on each of these goals. Here's to a bright new year full of possibilities!

The Point of this Blog

2008-12-07T23:36:00.002-07:00

I got this blog awhile back but hadn't entirely decided what to do with it. I would move my entire LiveJournal blog over from there to here except that that Blogger is still missing one feature that I would really like - individualized privacy settings for each post. Right now on my LiveJournal blog I have some things that are definitely strictly journal posts that I want only me to be able to see, and some things that I only want people who I've approved as friends to be able to see, and other things that I like having posted for the whole world. But Blogger doesn't have that capability yet so I'm not yet ready to move all of that over, but I'm pretty sure I will someday.

I've decided that I'm going to use this blog as my place to just write about my random thoughts on the world. Things that aren't really part of the posts of our family blog to keep people updated on what's going on in our lives, but that aren't necessarily journal items either. Mostly I'll be posting reviews of books, movies or other products that I do or don't like, responses to "tags" that are more about me, or thoughts on issues that I feel are important. Of course, I'm not limiting myself to any of those things, but I've wanted a place to write about things that I didn't feel had a place in our family blog and this seems like the perfect place. So, if you're interested in those kinds of things feel free to follow me. If not, I'm not going to be offended :)